Amazing Grace

After such a roller coaster week this past week, God has blessed us with a calmer one. Sunday ended with a scare but God answered our prayers and Bryce pulled through. Both Grant and Bryce still have their ups and downs but God is blessing both Paul and I with peace that our boys will continue to pull through.

Grant is now up to 2 lbs 10 oz which is a blessing! He does have a bit of edema but that's just to be expected. His head ultrasound today showed that his bleed is still stable which is a blessing!!! His PDA is also still small so nothing at all to worry about. He has gone up on his oxygen over the last few days and they are keeping an eye it. He is still very much a "touch-me-not" but has been tolerating his CPT treatments (small vibrations on his chest to help break up mucus in his lungs). He did have a breakthrough seizure early this morning. Yhey gave him a bolus of phenobarbital and he hasn't had any more episodes since. It may take a little while to determine the amount of phenobarb to fully regulate his seizures but it is a huge praise that in a week, he's only had 1!

Bryce is up to 2 lbs 11 oz though they're guesstimating a good ounce of that is from excess fluid do to the endocin (sp?) they gave for his PDA. The first round of endocin didn't do a lot for closing it but they are going to hold off on doing a second round of it for the timebeing. They gave him lasix to help get rid of the excess fluid and it is working well. He has started having bradycardia episodes again but because he does not drop his oxygen levels or his stats so they are just watching him for now. They did draw some labs today to check that infection isn't the underlying problem.

I was able to go up and see both the boys this afternoon and they both look so good. They are getting bigger each time we come up and see them. They are such beautiful baby boys. God has answered our prayers for them time and time again. I have struggled in the past two weeks to make sense of everything that has transpired. So many times a day, the "what ifs" have surfaced in my mind and I feel myself begin to panic, question and doubt. I am so thankful for God's grace and mercy; that He does not change though I feel in a panic. In the past few days, I have really begun learning how to put my trust and faith more fully in Him. I have clung to the promises in Psalms 91. Each time I find myself worrying, I cry out to Him. I cannot explain the peace that He has poured over me in these past few days as I rely more on the Lord. Even when things seem to be going south, I have been able to find unexplainable peace in knowing that its all in God's hands.

It is awesome to know that nothing surprises the Father. He was not surprised by their birth at 28 weeks. He was not surprised by the test results that revealed that the boys had head bleeds or PDAs. He was holding them in His hands the entire time and still is. I am constantly in awe at His answers to our cries. As Bryce was struggling on Sunday night, so many were praying and crying out on his behalf. On our way up the elevator to the 5th floor and the NICU, Paul and I stopped and prayed that Bryce's stats would be good and he would be "stable" when we entered their pod. He answered that prayer and Bryce, though back on the ventilator was resting peacefully and satting (oxygen saturation) well. When it was revealed that Grant's brain bleed was a grade two, we prayed that his bleed would stop. The past two head ultrasounds since then have been stable - his bleeding has stopped. When I cry out to Him for peace that my boys are in the hands of The Great Physician - that my boys will be just fine - He wraps me in His warmth in a way I cannot fully describe.

I am so humbled by the prayers that are being poured out for our boys by so many, including so many that we have never met. We have been so blessed by the meals that have been provided by dear friends to help ease our burden here at home. With all the back and forth to the hospital and all of the things that we need to have done around the house, not having to worry about meals in addition to that has been such a great blessing. Thank you to all of you that have so graciously taken from your time to help us out in that way!! You have blessed us more than we can say.