I have spent the past few weeks in a blur. Ophthalmologists, pediatrician, sleep disorder physician, home health nurse, speech therapist.... Have I forgetten anyone? We have had appointment after appointment after appointment. Add to that banking, pharmacy and grocery runs, laundry, vacuuming, cooking, and taking care of six children and you have one very exhausted woman.
I have been completely wrapped up in my own little world lately; completely lost within my list of daily appointments and chores. I have wondered on a constant basis if this is all that my life consists of. I've been whining, complaining and even begging for some time off. I have definitely been productive these days. I am a very busy mother and wife. Yet I am realizing how quickly I've forgotten how big I'm blessed.
Not too long ago, a good friend of mine (and fellow NICU/multiples mom) texted me and asked for prayer for a friend. Her friend had given birth at 31 weeks. The precious baby lived only 5 1/2 hours and then was taken to heaven. I read her text for prayer and cried. Here I have been, completely consumed with all that is going on in my life, and completely forgetting how precious these lives I'm caring for really are. In the midst of all the madness, I forget to say thank you to our Heavenly Father for blessing me with such beautiful children.
Morning comes so quickly in this house lately. Bryce wakes numerous times during the night to nurse. Brooklyn has been a restless sleeper and even the older girls have been a bit off with their sleep patterns lately. This has made for very interesting dynamics in this house. Fussy toddlers, screeching and whiny preschoolers, argumentative little girls. I have found myself wanting to run away from it all for just a little while. Yet again, I'm reminded that God has blessed me mightily. I have a beautiful near preteen (10 in Sept - oh my gosh!!) who loves to help, is always striving to do her best and has such a beautiful heart. I have a sweet five year old who loves life. She is passionate about all that she does. Loving and energetic, she fills the room with smiles. Then there's Raegan. Sweet, ornery Raegan. What a spit fire that child is!! Always so much expression on that little girl's face!! She makes me roll with laughter at her antics. Then there is our miracle baby #1. She is such a precious little one. Always babbling and getting into something. Grabbing a book and plopping down to carefully look through it's pages - such a precious sight to watch. Bryce and Grant.... What miracles!! There was a time when we were not sure we'd ever take them home yet home they are! It has been so incredible to watch them grow and develop. They are two tiny, constant reminders of God's mercy and grace. Each time I find myself getting lost in frustration with my never ending to-do list, I am reminded of these blessings - and so many more - and find myself feeling foolish for complaining about such trivial things.
So instead of stressing over the things left undone today, or complaining about the lack of sleep, I need to count the many blessings God has poured out on me and press on. Embrace the life God has given you. All too quickly it can pass you by.
I have been challenged by the fact that I get so wrapped up in my own little world that I neglect the ones around me. As much as I would like to get out and do things to help others, right now my hands are already full to over flowing. Yet I always have spare minutes that I can use to drop a note to someone and thank them for their friendship, for their help, or just to see how they are doing. I am never so busy that I can't stop to pray when God lays someone on my heart. Yet most days I find myself so buried in my own thoughts that I don't take time for anyone else. I need to stop missing opportunities to say hi, thank you or I love you to those around me. Without those people that God has placed into my life, I would be an utter mess.
Thank you to everyone that prayed continuously for our boy's healing. Thank you to all of you who brought us meals. Thank you for your friendships. For the late night IHOP or McDonaldS trips just to talk. For the days of hanging out in the back yard in the heat of the summer with a lounge chair and a water hose, having fun spraying the girls as they ran around in their bathing suits. I truly am blessed! Thank you, Father, for such sweet reminders!
You are a wonderful mother. No matter how stressed we get and how far our minds wander, (ok maybe they are compeletly lost) we always know family is a blessing. I always enjoy meeting with you. It gives me another person who lives what I live and doesn't judge me when they find out I left my brain in another place. We just laugh and move on. Thank you for always understanding and I hope we can share lots of ideas as our multiple blessings continue to grow older each day. We may color code, make sticky notes, make lists of who did what when, and do things that other parents would never dream of and not feel bad about it. We will always have that multiples bond. Parents of singletons will never quite understand us and they think we really have lost our marbles but in the end what we do works for us and our families and that is all that matters, brain or no brain!
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